I know that I should had written this letter to you long ago, but I got the feeling that you were think that I didn't exist. But I do I do! And I wanted to let you know that while I might be as elusive as a unicorn or dragon which grazing in a field of four-leaf clovers, but I do exist! I am just around the corner, maybe just down the street, on facebook, maybe in your office or any local coffee shop. I might had an eyes contact with you once on the public transport or I may even saw you across the room at a party. But it's not our time yet. You must be wondering why, right?
I know it's really not fair that you have to wait this long, or go on blind dates with people you dislike, endure bad sex, settle for "Meh Meh" relationship, feel misunderstood, cry from loneliness, wrap your arm around a pillow as you fall asleep at night. I am so sorry, my love... You deserve an explanation from a bastard like me. So, here it goes, it's taken me a long time to even admit this to myself much less to you, so please know that everything I have written here is true.
The reasons that we haven't met yet, in no particular order are as following:
1) I haven't thrown out the list of things I think you should be.
2) I am with the wrong person right now.
3) I am not ready to be loved unconditionally.
4) Since my life isn't together yet, I think you will reject me.
5) I still believe that drama is a show of love.
6) I have been intentionally keeping my head too busy to think with my heart.
7) I need to date more to understand what I do and don't like.
8) I won't be able to appreciate you until my life has kicked my ass.
9) I am too focused on my own needs.
10) I don't know how to create the feeling of home that lives in my heart.
Clearly as you can see, I am not my best self yet. Or even myself, I am still figuring out who I really is.
I am pretty sure even if we did meet, you wouldn't like me all that much right now.
It's entirely possible that we did hit it off once, and I left without getting your information, or maybe I did get your number and never called because of any one of the above reasons/excuses.
Be patient with me, my dear... Know that I am working my way toward you. So don't spend any more time thinking about where I am or am not. Just keep making your life exciting and full, so when we do finally come together, we can bring each other joy, because we are already happy.
I know it's taking longer than you'd like. It's a hell lot slower than I could have ever imagined. But I am here. This is me talking to you, and I am not going anywhere. Don't give up on me.
Yours in perpetuity,
The love you haven't met yet
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