Give your friend the space if they need it

Taking the time to nurture a lasting friendship is worth every ounce of effort.

People always say that if two people can make it through arguments or fights, the relationship will get stronger. I am not just referring to those girlfriend/boyfriend but also to those best friend kind of relationship.

It is like the more you go through with someone, the more the relationship are being tested and this helps it to grow and become stronger. However, conflict does not necessarily always bring two people closer, of course, the reason why conflict exists at all would be, most of the time due to difference of opinion or perhaps misunderstanding. But the fact that two people are able to compromise and come to an agreement and accept each others' differences is in a sense on how people strengthen their bonds with each other.

I do not think that the bond gets stronger after each and every arguments or fight, but rather I think it just help to understand one another more. After all, conflict do helps to get your true thoughts/feelings out, so both of us can work on it together. If it is always "lovely" and "calm", I will never know what the other person is thinking.

P/S: Real friends are always going to be there by your side, even at times, when you tell them to leave...

#Randomthoughts

Don't let her go to sleep upset

Don't let her go to sleep upset, because, she will only toss and turn in frustration, until sadness or watching cartoon pulls her into sleep, and tears stain her pillow. You will be her first though when she wakes up, and more than anything, she will wish she could go back to sleep, back to the silence, to the empty blackness. Don't do this to her, don't let her go to sleep upset, she's worth so much more ... if she wasn't, she wouldn't care.

Fake it till you make it

Things often do not go the way we expect, there are always unanticipated problems or blind spots that we just could not anticipate.

We are all born with selfish desires, so we can all relate to those feelings in others.
But kindness is something made individually by each person, so it is easy to misunderstand when others are trying to be kind to you.

History repeat itself again, the only difference this time is that, I am the opposite party instead. I am the problem for the past few months.

Wearing a mask to face everything now...

Quote from 2 years ago... "Sometimes, people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons, but they just know that things will get worse if they stay. Don't depend too much on anyone in this world, because even your shadow leaves you when you are in the darkness."

Have faith...

Sometimes the silence,  the gaps, tell us more than anythings else...

What happened?

Complexity often creates confusion and hides solutions in a haze of smoke.
Complexity also prevent people from being open to finding the solutions that are often right infront of them.

The past is over and what is more important is where you are now and where you want to be in the future. All your past experiences, mistakes and failure in your life have prepared you for living your life in the present and in the future. Acknowledge your past and what you have learnt, then let the past go and slowly move forward to the future.

Stop procrastinating about all those things you say you want to do but never get around to doing.
Stop choosing to be fearful about the future, about making mistakes, about change.

Most things are not as bad as you think they are.

The will to live

The will to live is determine by whether you have something to look forward to or not...

For example...
For someone who got nothing to look forward to, when he/she get into a car accident, he/she is most likely dead before reaching the hospital.

However, for someone who have something to look forward to, when he/she get into a car accident, the will to live is so strong that he/she can pull through and endure all the way to the hospital.

They are just one decision away from a completely different life.

Knock, and it shall be opened to you...

Having a bad day? Everything will be alright eventually, now you are a little stronger than you were yesterday.
Don't give up and don't give in, don't let one or two dark clouds cover the entire sky.
The sun is always shining on some part of your life.
Sometimes, you just have to forget how you feel, remember what you deserve and keep pushing forward.

It's common that we've all made mistakes, we've all made absolute fools of ourselves. We've let people take advantages of us. When the day is really dark, it can be hard to see the light but you have to try. True strength comes when you have much to cry and complain about, but you prefer to smile and appreciate your life instead. There are blessings hidden in every struggle you face, but you have to be willing to open your heart and mind to see them.

Don't let a hard lesson harden your heart, life's best lessons are often learned at the worst time and from the worst mistakes. There will be times when it seems like everything that could possibly go wrong is going wrong. And you might feel like you will be stuck in this rut forever, but trust me, you won't. When you feel like giving up, remember that sometimes things have to go very wrong before they can be right. You have to go through the worst in order to arrive at your best.

Find the strength to laugh everyday.
Find the courage to feel different, yet beautiful.
Find it in your heart to make others smile too.
Don't stress over things that you can't change.
Live simply, love generously, speak truthfully and work diligently.
And even if you fall short, keep going, keep growing...

What Doesn’t Kill You Can Make You Stronger

In order for my life lesson or mistakes to make me stronger, I have to learn from them.
To figure out where I went wrong.

What could I have done differently?
What could I have done more efficiently?
What should I have avoided?
What could I have interpreted in a different manner?
What is it that I am missing?

If I can learn from it then it is not consider time or energy wasted.
I can't pick and choose the manner or speed in which I learn from my life lessons.
Only life gets to decide that. Making changes, both big and small allow us to learn new things and also restore a bit of faith in ourselves. Having faith in ourselves is never a bad thing and it's something most of us could stand to do a bit more often.

P/S: You have come so far, don't give up, don't go back to the dark side... Keep fighting ~

The rain always stops, eventually...

Throughout my life, there will always be tough times, the question is... Will I bounce back or bounce backwards? After every rainstorm, the sun will ultimately rear its face.

Boys will sit and pout.
Men will focus on how to make themselves better tomorrow.

Stagnancy during times of despair is a clear cut sign of immaturity isn't it?
I am trying hard to stay positive and focus on progression.

I feel that I only get a certain endurance allotment before I eventually break. It even hurt innocent people around me.

Not every person is born with a silver spoon in his or her mouth and the ones who aren't must definitely work harder to achieve anything. It is undeniable that there are others who get whatever they want without breaking a sweat.

How many times I have heard someone complain about how "Life is unfair", even myself are complaining about it. There are so many things in lives that I so badly want it to work, but sometimes, things just don't go my way.

Trying so hard to stay in control of things and people, it somehow ends up with a bit of disappointment, frustration and even heartbroken. Little by little, I am losing myself in the process.

# My dear EDWIN, you screw up badly... You really need to freaking grow up and learn to be a better person... Wake up your bloody idea, you got nothing under your name that people can rely on. You are still nothing and therefore, you got no rights to be moody nor vent anger on anybody around you.

If you have a bad day or really moody, try cut ties with the world for the moment, goes into 'ghost mode' like what you are good at previously... Avoid saying nasty stuff and things that you don't really meant it. It's a mistake that can never turn back once the wrong words are used. That way, you can minimize the chances that you affecting other people's mood or even ruined their day for no good reason.

If people don't like what you are doing or feeling burden over it, you should simply stop doing it rather than continually being a annoying pest. If people skipped what you said,  you should jolly well accept the fact that he/she want to avoid that particular topic because he/she didn't really like or keen about it and stop trying to bring up that particular topic again.  Oh well...

Boreeed

I am sick and tired of being sick and tired...

Keep waiting... 

Our Human Tendency

People were created to be loved.
Things were created to be used.
The reason why the world is in such chaos now is because things are being loved and people are being used.

Life is about loss, it's about having a certain amount of time in your life and nothing more.
If we do it right, we don't need more than the time we have.
People come and go, just as like how we always will, and there is no motive or intent behind loss, it's simply the way of life.

The purpose of loss in our lives is to make us value what we do have when we have it, and to know that in this moment, what we have is ours and it's enough. Through every loss, lessons are learnt, learn how to let go, learn that loss is not to be feared or hated, it is but the only reason people cherish life so much.

Being alone sometimes sucks and it makes our souls dark. Using people doesn't make anyone better, however, it just spreads the chaos.

Hatred and influences

Lesson of the day ~

Throughout our lives, people influence us in ways both large and small.
People may affect our moods, our simplest of actions and decision.
For those who have a greater influence on us, they will have the ability to change our entire perspective on life.

If you are doing a good job, there will always be haters.
You can never make everyone happy.
Even when you are a crowd-pleaser, you will still come across those individuals who feel the need to throw some hatred in your way.
This isn't a pessimistic way of viewing the world, it is simply the reality that we live in.
Accept this truth and you can over the obstacles these individuals throw your way.

People don't hate other people because they find something in those individuals worthy of such a horrible status.
People hate other people because it's the easiest way to cope with their own failures and insufficiency.

If you want to hurt someone, truly hurt someone, then all you need to do is pretend that person does not exist. There is nothing man fears more than holding absolutely no importance. Show the people who hate that they are invisible to you and they will either break or will move on to another target.

Be brave and do it for you because no one else will...

I feel stuck and dread that I can only have a possible placement until the end of the year.
I cannot help it but to feel that in the meantime, there is a big, bad world out there waiting for me to enter.
However, what I find to be an even harder pill to swallow is that when I am stuck, I tend to acutely aware the lives of others around me and also tend to compare my own life to those around me who are the same age or younger than me.

I shall take my own advice, the grass isn't always greener on the other side but rather greener where it's watered. Life is what you make it.

Stop Judging People On First Impressions

Often, people are extremely particular in what they share to others.
Majority of us are paranoid and cautious being who take the first step in letting people enter into our lives.
From the other person's standpoint, it could have give an impression of me being "Stuck up" or "Uninterested", but in reality, I know that was far from the case.

I think that it is common that not everyone likes to divulge his or her entire life story just within the first few encounter.
Purely because, not everybody is an open books who can easily reveal a segment of ourselves to someone who we does not know well. No? Yes?
For me, I usually have my guard up as I needs time and trust, in order to reveal my awesomeness to someone that came into my life.

Of course, it goes without saying that the first impressions are limited in many ways.
Sure, I can get either a positive or negative vibe about a person but more often than not, it really limits my ability to get to know someone beyond a superficial level.

People aren't all that easy to figure out, there are layers and layers behind a persona and sometimes, in order to peel those layers off, time is an essential factor to do so.
I always try to not let a first impression be the guiding point to someone's overall demeanor.
Everyone deserves more than just an initial judgement call. At least, that's what I think.

If I give a valiant effort to something, day in and day out, I saw no change, I will probably quit too.
So there's a need to sharpen my arsenal for perfection in what I can be.
And to always try to get up and go at it again and go at it again.
Because in life, it's not the genetic guy who wins, or the guy who has the most potential who wins, it's the person with great perseverance who wins. That is the guy that I need to be...

Decision making...

There comes a point in my lives when I have to make a decision.
I have to choose between giving up, throwing in the towel or continuing to fight the good fight ahead.

The things and the people that I love are meant to remain in my lives for as long as possible.

Yes, eventually they will all disappear on their own accord one day, I am powerless to do anything about it. But I guess there's no need for me to speed up such process. I just need to be more smart and careful in the decision that I make in life.

I shall try not to make any stupid decision when emotional and under pressure while trying to slow down a bit, take my time, give myself a few days. This is so to prevent myself from getting caught up in the moment and blurt out something that I will regret.

Lets start afresh

These few days had been a joke to me.
Get laid off from a job because I am not qualified for that certain position.
How irony?

Life is all about the give and take, and when the time is right, something good will happen, that's what I believe.

I have decided that this should be no more, I need to be genuinely grateful for all that I have. I don't like to fail, none of the people out there will like it but this is unfortunately an inescapable and omnipresent fact of life that I accept.

Even though I may fear failure, I shouldn't refuse to accept new challenges simply in an attempt to avoid feelings of disappointment.

Quoted from the mighty Azura...
"When things dont work out it only means that theres another path which is so much better and what you just got through is just a challenge for you to learn".

I know...

I know something's gone awry but I feel like going on.
I know I could be wrong but I also could be right.
And I see the things are not the same again.

With just a few words, greetings and farewells are decided.
Will I be able to find your image that flew away?
The result and responsibility of that, you ask me about it.
It's nothing, it's nothing...
It doesn't mean anything, it's not anyone...
It's not you now.
3rd .....
The more that I don't want to fall into this category, the more I became one...

First, I think the worst is a broken heart.
What's going to kill me is the second part.
And the third is when my world splits down the middle.
Fourth, I am going to think that I can fix myself.
Fifth, I know that it's not going to work.
And the sixth, is when I admit that I may have messed up a little.

I become used to it like a habit so I don't even know anymore even it hurts.
I don't say anything, I just need to smile. Right? :)

I lose myself tonight...

No, I am not okay...

Sometimes when people ask me if I'm okay, I just want to turn around and say 'No, I am not okay, I am fucking heart broken, lonely and generally I feel like shit." But I don't, instead I lied to them, I fake a smile, fake a laugh so that maybe one day, I will end up convincing myself that I am okay. Maybe...

I tend to complicate things because it seem like I am not really comfortable with that sort of simplicity yet. Most things that I compulsively distract, consume and engage with are methods of deflection. They aren't really necessary but I just not really going to give them up until there's something else to fill that void. No one knows what I am saying right? Sometimes, I don't really know what I'm saying either.

Funny?

I don't perceive myself as a funny person. At least for the most part, anyways. Yet many people have told me throughout that my existence that I am funny.
But how?

I scroll through my Facebook post or even my Instagram post, nothing I say to anyone really sounds that funny. I don't think I am even capable of "being" funny, least in the words I use on a daily basis.
I don't understand this. Deep down, I think that humor in general and those who contain a sense of natural humor attracts me a lot. It is almost as important as an ideal mate to be funny in order for me to be attracted to them, along with intelligence, of course.

So I don't understand, why do some people think I'm funny? Why do they laugh at me when I am just my natural self? And sometimes, I also don't understand, why I do try to be funny, or come up with something funny to say, I get lost looks around me. So I have given up on occasionally "Trying" to be funny because it just makes me look and feel awkward. First world problem.

On a side note, please look out for your own hand and don't cut yourselves while handling the crabs...

Platonic

I shall just leave thing as how it is.
It is just purely a platonic friendship that got too far.
Too close for comfort but it wasn't planned.
I know it all along, I just didn't stop it nor preventing it from happening.
No damage control...
No corrective measure being taken...
My fault...

There might be those that coyly asking about our friendship, implying that the two of us might have something romantic going on in private. Since it's common for those that are very skeptical of platonic friendships.
No, we really are just friends, I will just leave it at that and it's up to you guys to believe it or not.

On a side note, I pretty miss my buddy Azura. Haven't been texting or meet up with her lately, dragonboat, tons of flight schedule and maybe macho guy. Haha I am sorry buddy, we will meet up soon and I got some stuff to tell you too. Ohh, get well soon!!

Its time...

When life isn't going as planned, sometimes a little voice starts telling me that it'll unquestionably be better elsewhere.

Enough of those emoing, lazing around, feeling lost or whatever. People always said that "The grass is always greener on the other side", but I think that the grass is greener where I water it.

Time to be awesome! Lets go! :)
Fake it till I make it.

What If...

I know this very well.
I can feel it.
Just one last time.
Anything happen again within this period just one last time.
I am sure that we will be gone-case.

Occasionally, the reality is more cruel than lies.
If people hate me for being like this, then I hate them too. It's simple.
There's no reason for me to look good or give good impression to people who don't like me.
I am having a hard time liking them back too. It keeps me wondering.

* Random thoughts as always, if anyone came across this post, pretend you didn't, I don't like it being brought up and discussed about. Thank You.

Mistakes

After 26 years, I still got nothing under my name...
Nothing to offer, but I believe it will come to an end soon.

Recently, I made some mistakes here and there.
It is not a bad thing, it helped me to identify my faults so I can establish who I want to become.
Of course, there is no doubt that realizing that I have made a mistake sucks.
I remember feeling like I had disappointed myself.
I remember wishing I could either go back in time or even fast forward into the future.
I remember I am trapped in my own mind, consumed with negative thoughts.
Worst, I never took the time to allow myself to realize that what I did wasn't such a big deal.

Nevertheless, like what I said, I am grateful that I have made mistake.

First and foremost, it is okay to make mistakes (That's what most elders says).

They really do allow for the best learning experiences provided I don't repeat it.

No one is harder on me than I am to myself, I am the one who's making this a big deal.
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
No one will remember this by next week. Hahax.

Actually, in a week from now, my dear friends and I will be laughing about it. Or should I say, after a night?
Although its sucks to make mistake but I know that things will get better.
It's over and done with, what past is past. I don't want to let my past to control me.
It doesn't change who I am, in fact it actually help to build me into a better person (I believe).

Riding

There is a widespread prejudice against all bikers, justified or otherwise. Yes, I know motorcycling is a high risk transport, everybody knows that.

But the moment that I decided to ride, I am already 100% responsible for my own safety. And I don't blame other drivers or pedestrians if I really did get into an accident even if I am not the cause of it. A car may bolt out of the blue into my path, it always happens and I am the one that need to take the necessary precautions and ride in the most paranoid manner possible to preserve my meaningful life and also to get home safely.

But still like what one of my loves one say, it's not the vehicle problem but the person who handle it is the main problem. I strongly agree to this statement.

It's not this poor machine that are at fault, it's me, the rider that is at fault for not being responsible.

That bike incident that changes everything...
Maybe something should really happen to me so it won't turn out that way.

Not responsible...
Not reliable...
I let you down...
That's me...

No matter how many good things you do but just one mistake at the wrong time despite all the coincidence, everything is back to square one, that's reality. Deal with it.

Things will never be the same anymore   :(

Buddies ~

Guys, I think I am having some post graduation depression, maybe due to loss of identity or perhaps mourning the end of an era? Well, I am not alone, some of my classmates feeling lost and empty too.

On a side note, recently I made a new buddy.
I am glad that I am having more and more buddy, now I have a total of four!
How is it consider a buddy?
Because it is a relationship unlike any others, not those hi-bye, not those that need you when they need help, not those that are not making any efforts.

I would like to keep this numbers of buddy small since such rank "S" people in a person's life are not suppose to be too many.

There are no judgement, it's basically a free space to be entirely comfortable as my true-self.

There are no farces, there are no smoke and mirrors, there's just pure and open honesty.

They are like the ride or die, the person you go to when life is really great or just really, really horrible.

They are like the better half or even soul mate and there is no one else that I would rather spend my time with.

People may question our friendship and that's just because they have not been fortunate enough to experience something of the same magnitude in their own lives.

At least they are the people that I want to cherish because I really don't know where I would be without this people.

They are the people that I would trust with every little secret as I tell them the things I don't even want to admit to myself.

Caution

Don't take advantageous of me just because I give chances.
It doesn't mean you can abuse them over and over again.
Don't assume I will forgive you just because I don't react, or I say that it's okay because it's not okay at all.
I will remember it, it's just that I'd rather forgive someone I care a lot about, than lose them over something silly.
But I can only tolerate so much, and if you have pushed me past the limit, you must have messed up a lot before.

Knock some sense into the head

Yesterday I was being lectured by my stupid buddy...
It's good that once in while, people try to knock some sense into my head.

I have no idea what I want but dismissing people based upon on my specific criteria which could actually lead me to really miss out. The line is so blurred and disfigured at this point that I might drive myself crazy by just trying to figure out how to please everyone.

I need to stop navigate through it like a game that I can manipulate to achieve the best outcome without much risk. Be simple, be kind and most importantly be happy.  I need to be responsible for making this more complicated than it needs to be, it isn't a game, it's just other people. Stop counting cards and start counting smiles.

That's the conclusion for the late night talk I suppose. As the age-old saying goes, always treat others as you wish to be treated, no one deserves anything less than your utmost respect. My dear buddy, you have gained my respect, but still you are a naive buddy no matter what~ Haha

Those small little thing

Appreciative..
Something that I will look into a person to determine whether he/she worth the time and effort or not. Doesn't need to show much, even a small notes saying thank you is more than enough. Little things please me, it can be a cheap gift or a simple letter. I honestly react just as well to them as I do the big things. It may be small in value, but it means the most to me. They take the most thoughts, it's just nice to know know that you crossed that person's mind, enough that they though they'd to get you a little something.

On a side note, things don't always goes according to what people want. Its hard to change an impression, whats more if its a bad one. Maybe things are just not meant to be that way. Maybe it had became a habit too. No one knows.

As for mistakes, everybody makes mistakes. Its a cold hard fact of life. If someone truly care about the person, there's a need to learn to forgive them for their mistakes. Holding grudges towards one another can be very toxic, and is definitely not something to do if people want their whatever relationship to last.

Nothing last?

This few weeks have been a dark one...
Insomnia is terrible...
Study, study and more study...
I am glad that after today, I will only be left with one paper and not forgetting the individual report.. I will free after that, a qualified unemployed personnel at least.  :)

And why are the people around breaking up? Is it some break up season?

2 years of relationship gone..
4.5 years of relationship gone..
5.3 years of relationship gone...
Even the 6.6 years one also gone...

Whats common in them are that they seem so stable, it's like they are going to get married soon. And suddenly they break up just like that. As wasted as it seem, as sad as it sound, I believe there must be some underlying reason for that.

The longer a relationship is, the more secure it is? I don't think so. Feeling might fade, you might get bore of your partner or even worst, you like someone else. Things get taken forgranted, all those habits changes things. I guess its unavoidable...

Nothing last forever, is that true? I don't know and I can't comment on it. Someone told me that whenever a person leave your life, someone better will come into your life.. But whether will he/she stay or not is another issue.

Wearing a mask to impress others

If the face you always show to the world is a mask, someday... just wait till someday there will be nothing beneath it...

Why? Because when you spend too much time concentrating one everyone else's perception of you, or who everyone else wants you to be, you will eventually forget who you really are.

So don't fear the judgement of others, you know in your heart who you are and what's true to you.

You don't have to be perfect to impress or inspire people around you. Let them be impressed and inspired by how you deal with your imperfections.

Part time people

Sorry, but I don't need any part-time people in my life. You are either with me or you are not, you don't just come and go as you please.

There is only so much that I can actually control in my lives. Yes, it does blow. It would be great if I can control every single minute detail of my existence, all that goes on around me, but it simply isn't the case.

I need to accept this as soon as possible in order for me to brush away those unnecessary problems off the uncontrollable happenings right?

The Decision

As scary as it seem...
As exciting as it is...
As much anticipation as I have...
As many unnecessary worries as I have...

I just sent in my curriculum vitae...
Golden bird, please embrace me with your power ~

I have been chasing you for years, you know right? I promise I won't let you down nor take you forgranted. You have my words.

On a side note, I despise people who say all the good stuffs when things are sailing smoothly but then turn a 180 phase when things didn't go as plan. You know what? This is feeling "so human" that it's like bullshit...

One example? When you want to eat chicken rice, you will say how delicious it is, how good it smell and will queue for it even if it's going take you hours to do so. But when you find out that the chicken rice is too expensive for you to buy, you start saying that the chicken rice taste awful, don't look good at all, say only nuts will queue for food like this. Most importantly, you added a statement like "Luckily I never eat this chicken rice because it's so unhealthy for my body, so fattening." Yes, everything happens for a reason, and that's why you are a piece of shit.

For convenience sake or ?

In a new relationship, there are always a honeymoon period and on average it takes about three months for the full honeymoon period to blow over before one of them begin to see the flaws in the other person. Well, it's not that those flaws weren't exist all along, they were! It's just that people tend to get lost in the tide of love and didn't pay much notice to them.

I believe a person can get a good feeling to figure out whether or not their relationship has a chance within the first three months of seriously dating that person. Observing the person you are dating and being honest about what you see is rather important, however love is still love, when you are in love, you tend to be more vulnerable, exposed and perhaps blind? When people fall in love, their minds don't just see a person, they see the person that they perceive. They make this person to be something greater than he/she really is.

I am not suggesting that within the three months, people should break up or get married, but one can certainly tell whether or not there is some likelihood of this person being the one. I always believe my partner is simply a person, a person that I love, but a person nonetheless. She will have flaws, bad habits, personal issues. But everyone do, it's just that when people first fall in love, they overlook these truths and usually choose to ignore them all together.

Over a period, reality will starts to seep in and our perfect version of our lover will become less magnificent or mystical. Our partner may become less romanticized and more...human. However, if we are looking to spend our life with anyone, then we should first accept the fact that we are dating someone who comes with just as much baggage, just as many issues and just as many nasty habits as everyone else.

More importantly, we shouldn't ignore the things that bother us about the other person because we usually only has three options:                                                                                    

1) Our partner change his/her ways when we address it.

2) We learn to deal with it.

3) We break up down the road.

Obviously, there are a few more remaining options but they are much darker and a bit more twisted.The truth is that relationships really are about compromise. What else? Love of course! But love isn't enough to hold a relationship together on its own, that's unfortunately as it's what everyone seems to believe, I blame those movies, all those "Happily ever after" Disney cartoons or romantic comedies. Main idea here is just to figure out our own acceptable level of perfectness and simply be happy! :)

Random thoughts as usual, time to study again...! All the best everybody!!

Embrace it

To my two bimbo buddies out there...
One female bimbo & one male bimbo...

Whenever something goes wrong, people will always try to offer you advice, sometimes it will be a good and useful one, and other times it will be a pretty bad one.

But understand that these "helpers" are merely speaking from their own experiences are earnestly trying to help you. Though occasionally, it may feel like you are under scrutiny as you simply try to heal in your own way. However, relationships always end for different reasons, sometimes, the connection two people share simply just fades away. Other times, the drama and hurt become too much to bear.

So what types advice? Some people will tell you to "Get out there and meet new people" and others will tell you "Don't take too soon, you are not ready". Don't let such contradiction overwhelm you, instead, realize that these suggestions are evidence that we all nurse our wounds in different ways that work for us differently individually.

Though, right now you may feel like you are on an emotional roller coaster, know that trying to numb the feelings rather than embrace them will only lead them to stick around longer. Sure, it's great to get out of your rut for a bit, but remember to make time for the bad days too. Give yourself a chance to understand yourself more through some reflection.

You may feel hurt or maybe even guilty, but contacting your ex is not the solution either. Remember, your emotions are a bit unpredictable right now although you are still putting a strong self infront of us. Think about what you would tell a drunken friend that wanting to call an ex?

You had probably suggest the person to put away the phone and call in the morning? Why? Of course is to provide enough time to sober up and decide if calling is really necessary. Avoid regret where it's easy. Possibly the most crucial part of moving forward is letting go of hope for a reunion or banking on the notion that it will somehow work again down the road. We are tired of telling you the same things over and over again. Too much BROmance for you is not helping either, as difficult as it may be to hear, the only way to move forward when you lose love is to embrace it.

This the last time that I am going to say this. He or she is not a part of your future anymore, you may be telling yourself that you could both change and that some day it may work again, but the only person you can control is you. Be honest and good to yourself like please? Regardless of whether or not it's possible that it could happen, waiting for a reunion will bar you from moving forward. You will be forever measuring the people you meet against the ones you are waiting to return. Of course I know that no one will ever be able to replace another person, every romantic connection we experience is different. So, save yourself wasted time and move forth with an open mind. Embrace the closure that you can only achieve from accepting a future that doesn't include the person you ONCE loved.

Who come first?

I always believed that women will always remember every nice thing a guy do or say in the same way they remember every pitiless thing.

When you are good to women, even if it ends for whatever reason, she will always remember you. That's just my own assumptions... It might not be the case for everyone.

But I am sure that she will think about the way you made her laugh or the way you dried her tears? She might also remember the way she could speak to you for hours.. She will remember that you made her feel like a woman, even when she was wrong, you still made her feel like a woman.

This will somehow become the standard for all of the men in her life that follow. If they cannot compete with you or do better, they become bottom of the barrel. Why am I saying this? I had been through this, its hard for her.. I know.

Although I tried to be a bastard after that incident so that she can move on and also in order to prevent such similar case from happening again, I am very caution of my own actions and words use toward others but this just don't feel right.

Nice guys do not necessary always finish last, truely nice guys get the girl in the end. At end of the day, no matter how much money you make or how many muscles you have, a woman looking for real love is going to find her worth along with a man who deserves her.

How much do you really know about me

So vexed with myself right now. Everything should be on track already, but why do I still feel so lost, so messed up? Big sacrifices have to be made right at this very point of my life now, but why am I still in such dilemma when my priority's already so well-defined?

What kind of person I am exactly, to myself?

It's a hard question to be honest, because I think I'm someone rather hard to understand.

Yes, I do have the abilities to adapt to environment accordingly, able to shape-shift into anther person if required.

Not sure on where to start from but I shall say that, I am definitely not that super cold, solemn kind of person that some people think I am. Even if I might appear to be? I think I am actually quite a friendly person if someone comes to talk to me, just that I am not those initiative type when it comes to making new friends because I don't really trust in people that I don't know. Unless I feel that there's a need to, like at work or school, if not I can't really be bother to make new friends.

Yes things do happened, it was really tough for me back in my secondary school days, I built up tons of walls back then although I am slowly trying to knock them down one by one now.

But yeah, I know that I am not alone and am just really thankful for the genuine support and encouragement that I am receiving and the opportunity that I was given. Just like what those old people says: "No regrets, just lessons learned." I do appreciate each and every single thing that has happened in my life so far, whether they are good or bad, and I take them as part of my life experience, be it relationships, studies, decisions, everything.

You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice you have

Still believing that things will get better and better, even after all these years. Wouldn't say I have been through a lot but I guess I have been through quite a bit and like I mentioned before, I am thankful and grateful for everything that has happened, for they have molded me into who I am today. Stronger and much more mature as a person, there's no doubt.

Preparing for my presentation now while trying to finish up my final report too.

I need a freaking break, I really do.

Away from all the negative people, away from people who bring nothing but trouble, away from all the redundant questions.

I just need that few who are always giving me their genuine support and positivism, together with my inspirations and motivations. Stop telling me that I can't. Stop giving me all those excuses. Stop acting like you know me. Just give me some time and breathing space of my own.

p/s: A little hope is effective, a lot of hope is dangerous. Stay strong, smile, love, cherish and be grateful :)

The Difference Between Wanting Someone And Needing Them

"NEED" VS "WANT"
The difference between this two words, is it gargantuan?

To need someone basically implies dependency and a habitual sort of reliance.
Needing someone in times of crisis or extreme sadness is a part of being human, but needing that person constantly is suffocating. Of course, my such logic does not apply to children who always looking for their mum for milk or money.

What I think is that whenever you need someone, you tend to lose your independence and agency as a human being, why? Because you are constantly reliant on another person. Slowly losing the ability and desire to complete basic tasks by yourself, you forget what it's like to be alone with your thoughts and you can barely remember a time when you were capable of existing alone. It might sound like love to a lot people but seriously, it's not...

Falling into this neediness is not a conscious decision, it often happens quickly and discretely.
To "NEED" someone is like buying yourself a first class ticket to the land of codependence. First class ticket is expensive!

Wanting, on the other hand, is the first step in learning how to love someone. You want to be around the other person because they make you smile, they make you happier, and time goes by quicker when they are around. While you are fully capable of completing the tasks alone, you will still like to have the other person to be there with you, although you don't need them to be but you just want them to be.

When you want someone in your life, you want them there because life is more fun with them by your side. You want them there because you are a complete person with or without them, in addition to that, you know that they can make you happy. Basically, you don't need to use them as a crutch, you can stand alone.

So I think the difference between such need and want is the difference between codependence and love. This two words are very very different, and loving someone is much more beautiful and rewarding than leaning on them for all things, at all times, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. If you are such a person, do me a favour, will you? Go f**k yourself...

Side notes: My dear bimbo buddy wrote a love letter to the love that she haven't met yet, its awesome as usual, never once fail to impress me. Who's more sincere and sweet now? Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You!

Someone...

Someone once taught me not to judge.
I can't say that I didnt judge at all.
It's not easy to do that in such world but at least I am trying...
Trying not to judge people.
Trying not to look down on people too.
Just like how people say budget airline are cheap, but no... They are known as the low cost carrier, it's because of them that allow more people who are not that rich to travel around. Or like how can anyone judge t-rex for his short arms? They are born that way, they did not choose to be like that. So who are you to judge?

Someone once motivated me to jog long distance, initially I doubt I can do it, after all I don't really like to jog. But now? I can jog for near 10km with decent timing. Whenever I saw someone jogging, be it a old or fat person, I still respect them. why? Because they made that effort to go for a jog rather than coming out with excuses. A bad run is always better than a no run.

I am thankful for people that motivates me and tell me the right things at times where I doubt myself.. Appericate much. I come to realize that the only people I need in my life are the ones that need me in theirs even when I have nothing else to offer but myself.

A Letter to the Love that I Haven't Met Yet

Dear Future love of mine,

  I know that I should had written this letter to you long ago, but I got the feeling that you were think that I didn't exist. But I do I do! And I wanted to let you know that while I might be as elusive as a unicorn or dragon which grazing in a field of four-leaf clovers, but I do exist! I am just around the corner, maybe just down the street, on facebook, maybe in your office or any local coffee shop. I might had an eyes contact with you once on the public transport or I may even saw you across the room at a party. But it's not our time yet. You must be wondering why, right?

I know it's really not fair that you have to wait this long, or go on blind dates with people you dislike, endure bad sex, settle for "Meh Meh" relationship, feel misunderstood, cry from loneliness, wrap your arm around a pillow as you fall asleep at night. I am so sorry, my love... You deserve an explanation from a bastard like me. So, here it goes, it's taken me a long time to even admit this to myself much less to you, so please know that everything I have written here is true.

The reasons that we haven't met yet, in no particular order are as following:

1) I haven't thrown out the list of things I think you should be.
2) I am with the wrong person right now.
3) I am not ready to be loved unconditionally.
4) Since my life isn't together yet, I think you will reject me.
5) I still believe that drama is a show of love.
6) I have been intentionally keeping my head too busy to think with my heart.
7) I need to date more to understand what I do and don't like.
8) I won't be able to appreciate you until my life has kicked my ass.
9) I am too focused on my own needs.
10) I don't know how to create the feeling of home that lives in my heart.

Clearly as you can see, I am not my best self yet. Or even myself, I am still figuring out who I really is.
I am pretty sure even if we did meet, you wouldn't like me all that much right now.
It's entirely possible that we did hit it off once, and I left without getting your information, or maybe I did get your number and never called because of any one of the above reasons/excuses.

Be patient with me, my dear... Know that I am working my way toward you. So don't spend any more time thinking about where I am or am not. Just keep making your life exciting and full, so when we do finally come together, we can bring each other joy, because we are already happy.

I know it's taking longer than you'd like. It's a hell lot slower than I could have ever imagined. But I am here. This is me talking to you, and I am not going anywhere. Don't give up on me.

Yours in perpetuity,

The love you haven't met yet

Antonym

Everything can be either poison or medicine depending on how we use them. What kills people is not a knife or a gun, it's people.

Pity, the feeling of sorrow and compassion for misfortunes of others as if they are one's own.
Synonyms are understanding, sympathy.
Antonym is hatred.

I thought it was a good dream but it was just a bad one.
I am too lazy to put blame on anyone but sometimes finding an excuses is helpful when people like me can't bring up the courage.

Someone once told me that, if there is a reason for you to live, then live...

Single?

To my friends who just got out of a relationship, learn to enjoy life on your own, at least like for three months?

Meanwhile, try find the things that make you happy, do things that you have wanted to do, and spend time without a significant other. Date if you want to, but do so casually. Learn what you like and dislike and give yourself a hard, firm timeline to stay single.

I find that if you are contented with being single, you will be less likely to jump into a relationship for the wrong reasons.

And also, try to be picky, don't fall to fast...
Learn to say NOOOooooooooooo.
It's much too easy to jump right back into a relationship if you are just out of one, or jump too quickly at the first sign of sparks when you have been single for too long. My advice, DON'T FREAKING DO IT!

Take such opportunity to find someone who truly complements you, whom you have a deep connection with, and of course, whom you find attractive, not just any cats and dogs.

Also not forgetting to find yourself. The easier path to be happy and to have a healthy relationship is to understand what you yourself like and what actually make you happy. Take the time to find yourself while you are single. There's always give and take, but make sure you have a firm understanding of where to draw the line.

And to those friends that only know how to stick like a glue to their other half. Try reconnect with your old friends as relationships, particularly difficult ones can be very hand on friendships. While you are single, try reconnecting with old friends and if possible continue no matter what the relationship status are. Don't use friends as a crutch to fill the void of your lost relationship, rather find ways to ensure that your friends and family can stay part of any new relationship.

And to those friends who are still single, if you want to look and feel your best, try hitting the gym or go for regular jogging and get in shape. You will feel better, have more confidence which might actually aid in your next relationship off on the right foot. Find unique ways to get in shape, play tennis, golf, basketball or whatever. You might accidentally find or meet someone who has the same interests. Although such thing only happen in drama but who knows that it might actually happen.

Try meet new people every day, or at least learn more about the people you know. It's easy to sulk and feel isolated when you don't have that special someone in your life. Talking to people at your work place, store, gym or wherever place that you deem fit is a great way to stay social with no pressure. It's not just about finding someone new. rather it's a chance to become a more social and engaging person.

Lastly, I better go and carry on with my log book. :(

Sweet Talker

So, a Sweet Talker is a player for being a smooth talker, someone who uses nice words to get his/her way and often known as a Flirter? A person to be-careful of...?

Hmmmmmm, I guess so...

The Ugly Turths

The only difference between someone actions for being romantic and creepy is how attractive the other person finds you. That's it and that's all...

Generally, people are scared that by sincerely putting themselves out there will result in the other party finding out that they are too available, too anxious, too nerdy, too nice, too safe, too boring, not funny enough, not pretty enough, or even not some other person enough to be embraced...

Any person that we get romantically involved with, will either wind up staying with forever, or break up with at some point of time. Yes, these are the terrifying concepts and fact that causing people to be afraid of commitment and being official that they will rather remain in a label-free relationship, which blurs the lines.

Someone who hurt you is not going to have bad karma automatically, at least not in the immediate future. I know it only seem fair, but there are people out there that do cheat, betray and move on happily while the person they left is in shambles.

In the wooing period or even after getting together, the person who cares less will always have all the power, nobody wants to be the one who's more interested. But is this really the case for everybody? I doubt so...

Amazing

I like how someone can show me a dolphin just because I wanted to see one.   :)

The little things

One of the biggest mistakes that people often make when they are trying to impress someone is that they like to assume people only pay attention to the important or "BIG" things they do. But I think the reality is that the little things are what actually matter most.

It's the little things we do or don't do everyday that help to shape us in to who we are. The little things that determine how we respond when bigger things come into our lives.

The kind of image we present to the world is usually determined by our actions, comments, attitude, behavior and sometimes appearance.

These things can be noticed within the first few seconds when meeting someone new. What we do might be something so simple and small but it might leave a big impact where the effects are lasting. People might remember the little things we do and that can make the difference that we are looking for.

Disappear?

As I grew older and wiser...
I became more selective about whom I spent my time with...
I filtered, I found good friends, I drifted from others.
Naturally as I become selective, I became more stubborn and my grip grew a little tighter.
I handpicked those whom I wanted to kept close.

I have learned that we can't corral people into a pen and lock them away forever.
They won't stay put and we shouldn't have to convince them otherwise.
It seem obvious enough that relationships, like all other things do change, grow and even dissipate.
But that doesn't mean that it's an easy thing to accept...

Time can turned close friend into distant acquaintances.
Our lives are in constant motion. We change every single day.
Sometimes, we forget that the people who surround us also change everyday.
Some relationships may grow together, shift and bend in ways that make them fit comfortably.
Some relationships are more forgiving and hang on for the sake of the love that was one binding and now hangs around as a memory.
But some don't last...
Some get destroyed...
Some disappear slowly and some cease to exist abruptly.

Instead of focusing on the loss, maybe one should start to focus on the beautiful things each persons brought into their life. Knowing that your relationship had a purpose and convincing yourself that ultimately, the purpose was achieved is a great way to gain closure.

We are all moving and changing, we need different things from the world at different times in our lives.
We want different things, we view the world in different lights.
We are all essentially just bumping into each other, stuck together until another crack in the road sends us free falling into something or someone else.

Surround yourself with friends who make you better.
No one can save all friendships and the one that can't be saved are sometimes the ones that don't need to be.
You can never know the direction in which people will go and grow and change.

We can only try our best to keep the people that we really appreciate in our field of vision at all times, but also understand that life has its own way of throwing us around. Understand that these
are just realities.
It doesn't feel good to give up on people or relationships but sometimes, holding on feels worse.

RANDOM THOUGHTS AS USUAL :P

Judgement?

With social media the lines of friendship are blurred. If we take everyone's opinion on board, it will seriously cloud our judgement. Even a simple question can turn into an accuse...

Not focusing enough

While I am focusing on something else, I neglected something else.
Lesson learnt... Never never focus on just one thing...

And what I thought I'm good at, end up is the one that actually pull me down...

When People Tell You That You Can’t, You Just Smile And Say, ‘Watch Me’

For some people, it is just safer to do nothing rather than trying something new.
They don't want to rock the boat, they only want to be in their own comfort zones.

It is much easier to make excuses not to do something big and overwhelming than to simply put one foot in front of the other and start chipping away at the not-so-glam work of marking your dreams come true.

Why do people do that? It's probably a fear of making a mistake.
Fear of failure.
Fear of embarrassment.
Maybe they are fearful of changes.
I think it's a totally normal and healthy human response to feel all of these things when embarking into the unknown, when taking risks.
But if you recognize that this fear is just a passing emotion that doesn't necessarily have to stop you from making any moves, then you might be able to set yourself free. Miracles are just a shift in perception from fearing to love.

"CAN'T" is an ugly work, it should be banished from our vocabulary.

Mindset is everything, by simply making some minor adjustments to how we think and by removing the negative thoughts we tell ourselves that leave us in place ruled by fear, we can make great strides towards our desired end result. Anything is possible if you have a clear vision and are willing to do the work.

Secrets about flying

Secrets that many of you all don't know about flying...

When a plane is landing at night, they dim the interior lights just in case you need to evacuate upon landing, and since your eyes are already adjusted to the darkness, you will be able to see better once outside the plane.

The aircraft lavatories are able to unlock from the outside by just using a pen or even a coin. There is usually a lock mechanism concealed behind the no smoking badge on the door. Just lift the flap up and slide the bolt to unlock it.

In the cockpit, there are always at least 2 pilots at a time flying the aircraft. Both pilots are served different meals and cannot share the food just in case of food poisoning.

If you ever drink any water on the aircraft that did not come from a bottle, well congratulation! The reason being the ports to purge lavatory shit and refill the aircraft with portable water are within feet from each other and sometimes serviced all at once by the same person. So...

Landings to a lot of pilots are nothing more than a controlled crashes.
Accident occurs the most during take-off and landing...

Among the two pilots that are on duty, at least one of them are sleeping during flight and most often, when that one pilot that are sleeping woke up, he/she find that their partner are asleep too. It's all thanks to the auto-pilot.

Turning off the electronics on a plane is totally bullshit. It won't really affect the aircraft nor bring the whole aircraft down. What it does is that it is freaking annoying to the pilots due to the interference sound.

All of the goodies that are sold on the aircraft can be purchased on the internet for WAY less money.

Those clean blankets and pillows? Yes those are just being refolded and stuffed back in the bins between the flights, everyone will thought its new. Oh, even the headphones that come wrapped up nicely aren't new.

If during a flight, when all engines fail...
NO WORRIES !
An aircraft can still glide like a paper plane for at least 6 nautical miles for every 5000 feet.
So during cruising phase which is mostly at 35000 feet, an aircraft can still glide for around 42 miles without power. (Not including head wind nor tail wind)

Aircraft have a harder time flying during hot day. Just like what the car does on the road...

Although there are a few NO SMOKING sign on the aircraft but ashtrays can still be found in the lavatories. Why? The reason is because if people do decide to smoke illegally inside, they want them to have at least a place other than the trash can to throw the butt. On-board fire is no joke!

Pilots have the tendency to fly slower than expected in order to make more money and the only time that they do fly faster is when an air traffic controller instructed them to.

TOP SECRET:
If the plane is being hijacked, after the pilot lands the aircraft, they will leave the wing flaps up which will slow the aircraft down and this will signal the air traffic controller that there is something happened in the aircraft.