Part time people

Sorry, but I don't need any part-time people in my life. You are either with me or you are not, you don't just come and go as you please.

There is only so much that I can actually control in my lives. Yes, it does blow. It would be great if I can control every single minute detail of my existence, all that goes on around me, but it simply isn't the case.

I need to accept this as soon as possible in order for me to brush away those unnecessary problems off the uncontrollable happenings right?

The Decision

As scary as it seem...
As exciting as it is...
As much anticipation as I have...
As many unnecessary worries as I have...

I just sent in my curriculum vitae...
Golden bird, please embrace me with your power ~

I have been chasing you for years, you know right? I promise I won't let you down nor take you forgranted. You have my words.

On a side note, I despise people who say all the good stuffs when things are sailing smoothly but then turn a 180 phase when things didn't go as plan. You know what? This is feeling "so human" that it's like bullshit...

One example? When you want to eat chicken rice, you will say how delicious it is, how good it smell and will queue for it even if it's going take you hours to do so. But when you find out that the chicken rice is too expensive for you to buy, you start saying that the chicken rice taste awful, don't look good at all, say only nuts will queue for food like this. Most importantly, you added a statement like "Luckily I never eat this chicken rice because it's so unhealthy for my body, so fattening." Yes, everything happens for a reason, and that's why you are a piece of shit.

For convenience sake or ?

In a new relationship, there are always a honeymoon period and on average it takes about three months for the full honeymoon period to blow over before one of them begin to see the flaws in the other person. Well, it's not that those flaws weren't exist all along, they were! It's just that people tend to get lost in the tide of love and didn't pay much notice to them.

I believe a person can get a good feeling to figure out whether or not their relationship has a chance within the first three months of seriously dating that person. Observing the person you are dating and being honest about what you see is rather important, however love is still love, when you are in love, you tend to be more vulnerable, exposed and perhaps blind? When people fall in love, their minds don't just see a person, they see the person that they perceive. They make this person to be something greater than he/she really is.

I am not suggesting that within the three months, people should break up or get married, but one can certainly tell whether or not there is some likelihood of this person being the one. I always believe my partner is simply a person, a person that I love, but a person nonetheless. She will have flaws, bad habits, personal issues. But everyone do, it's just that when people first fall in love, they overlook these truths and usually choose to ignore them all together.

Over a period, reality will starts to seep in and our perfect version of our lover will become less magnificent or mystical. Our partner may become less romanticized and more...human. However, if we are looking to spend our life with anyone, then we should first accept the fact that we are dating someone who comes with just as much baggage, just as many issues and just as many nasty habits as everyone else.

More importantly, we shouldn't ignore the things that bother us about the other person because we usually only has three options:                                                                                    

1) Our partner change his/her ways when we address it.

2) We learn to deal with it.

3) We break up down the road.

Obviously, there are a few more remaining options but they are much darker and a bit more twisted.The truth is that relationships really are about compromise. What else? Love of course! But love isn't enough to hold a relationship together on its own, that's unfortunately as it's what everyone seems to believe, I blame those movies, all those "Happily ever after" Disney cartoons or romantic comedies. Main idea here is just to figure out our own acceptable level of perfectness and simply be happy! :)

Random thoughts as usual, time to study again...! All the best everybody!!

Embrace it

To my two bimbo buddies out there...
One female bimbo & one male bimbo...

Whenever something goes wrong, people will always try to offer you advice, sometimes it will be a good and useful one, and other times it will be a pretty bad one.

But understand that these "helpers" are merely speaking from their own experiences are earnestly trying to help you. Though occasionally, it may feel like you are under scrutiny as you simply try to heal in your own way. However, relationships always end for different reasons, sometimes, the connection two people share simply just fades away. Other times, the drama and hurt become too much to bear.

So what types advice? Some people will tell you to "Get out there and meet new people" and others will tell you "Don't take too soon, you are not ready". Don't let such contradiction overwhelm you, instead, realize that these suggestions are evidence that we all nurse our wounds in different ways that work for us differently individually.

Though, right now you may feel like you are on an emotional roller coaster, know that trying to numb the feelings rather than embrace them will only lead them to stick around longer. Sure, it's great to get out of your rut for a bit, but remember to make time for the bad days too. Give yourself a chance to understand yourself more through some reflection.

You may feel hurt or maybe even guilty, but contacting your ex is not the solution either. Remember, your emotions are a bit unpredictable right now although you are still putting a strong self infront of us. Think about what you would tell a drunken friend that wanting to call an ex?

You had probably suggest the person to put away the phone and call in the morning? Why? Of course is to provide enough time to sober up and decide if calling is really necessary. Avoid regret where it's easy. Possibly the most crucial part of moving forward is letting go of hope for a reunion or banking on the notion that it will somehow work again down the road. We are tired of telling you the same things over and over again. Too much BROmance for you is not helping either, as difficult as it may be to hear, the only way to move forward when you lose love is to embrace it.

This the last time that I am going to say this. He or she is not a part of your future anymore, you may be telling yourself that you could both change and that some day it may work again, but the only person you can control is you. Be honest and good to yourself like please? Regardless of whether or not it's possible that it could happen, waiting for a reunion will bar you from moving forward. You will be forever measuring the people you meet against the ones you are waiting to return. Of course I know that no one will ever be able to replace another person, every romantic connection we experience is different. So, save yourself wasted time and move forth with an open mind. Embrace the closure that you can only achieve from accepting a future that doesn't include the person you ONCE loved.

Who come first?

I always believed that women will always remember every nice thing a guy do or say in the same way they remember every pitiless thing.

When you are good to women, even if it ends for whatever reason, she will always remember you. That's just my own assumptions... It might not be the case for everyone.

But I am sure that she will think about the way you made her laugh or the way you dried her tears? She might also remember the way she could speak to you for hours.. She will remember that you made her feel like a woman, even when she was wrong, you still made her feel like a woman.

This will somehow become the standard for all of the men in her life that follow. If they cannot compete with you or do better, they become bottom of the barrel. Why am I saying this? I had been through this, its hard for her.. I know.

Although I tried to be a bastard after that incident so that she can move on and also in order to prevent such similar case from happening again, I am very caution of my own actions and words use toward others but this just don't feel right.

Nice guys do not necessary always finish last, truely nice guys get the girl in the end. At end of the day, no matter how much money you make or how many muscles you have, a woman looking for real love is going to find her worth along with a man who deserves her.

How much do you really know about me

So vexed with myself right now. Everything should be on track already, but why do I still feel so lost, so messed up? Big sacrifices have to be made right at this very point of my life now, but why am I still in such dilemma when my priority's already so well-defined?

What kind of person I am exactly, to myself?

It's a hard question to be honest, because I think I'm someone rather hard to understand.

Yes, I do have the abilities to adapt to environment accordingly, able to shape-shift into anther person if required.

Not sure on where to start from but I shall say that, I am definitely not that super cold, solemn kind of person that some people think I am. Even if I might appear to be? I think I am actually quite a friendly person if someone comes to talk to me, just that I am not those initiative type when it comes to making new friends because I don't really trust in people that I don't know. Unless I feel that there's a need to, like at work or school, if not I can't really be bother to make new friends.

Yes things do happened, it was really tough for me back in my secondary school days, I built up tons of walls back then although I am slowly trying to knock them down one by one now.

But yeah, I know that I am not alone and am just really thankful for the genuine support and encouragement that I am receiving and the opportunity that I was given. Just like what those old people says: "No regrets, just lessons learned." I do appreciate each and every single thing that has happened in my life so far, whether they are good or bad, and I take them as part of my life experience, be it relationships, studies, decisions, everything.

You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice you have

Still believing that things will get better and better, even after all these years. Wouldn't say I have been through a lot but I guess I have been through quite a bit and like I mentioned before, I am thankful and grateful for everything that has happened, for they have molded me into who I am today. Stronger and much more mature as a person, there's no doubt.

Preparing for my presentation now while trying to finish up my final report too.

I need a freaking break, I really do.

Away from all the negative people, away from people who bring nothing but trouble, away from all the redundant questions.

I just need that few who are always giving me their genuine support and positivism, together with my inspirations and motivations. Stop telling me that I can't. Stop giving me all those excuses. Stop acting like you know me. Just give me some time and breathing space of my own.

p/s: A little hope is effective, a lot of hope is dangerous. Stay strong, smile, love, cherish and be grateful :)

The Difference Between Wanting Someone And Needing Them

"NEED" VS "WANT"
The difference between this two words, is it gargantuan?

To need someone basically implies dependency and a habitual sort of reliance.
Needing someone in times of crisis or extreme sadness is a part of being human, but needing that person constantly is suffocating. Of course, my such logic does not apply to children who always looking for their mum for milk or money.

What I think is that whenever you need someone, you tend to lose your independence and agency as a human being, why? Because you are constantly reliant on another person. Slowly losing the ability and desire to complete basic tasks by yourself, you forget what it's like to be alone with your thoughts and you can barely remember a time when you were capable of existing alone. It might sound like love to a lot people but seriously, it's not...

Falling into this neediness is not a conscious decision, it often happens quickly and discretely.
To "NEED" someone is like buying yourself a first class ticket to the land of codependence. First class ticket is expensive!

Wanting, on the other hand, is the first step in learning how to love someone. You want to be around the other person because they make you smile, they make you happier, and time goes by quicker when they are around. While you are fully capable of completing the tasks alone, you will still like to have the other person to be there with you, although you don't need them to be but you just want them to be.

When you want someone in your life, you want them there because life is more fun with them by your side. You want them there because you are a complete person with or without them, in addition to that, you know that they can make you happy. Basically, you don't need to use them as a crutch, you can stand alone.

So I think the difference between such need and want is the difference between codependence and love. This two words are very very different, and loving someone is much more beautiful and rewarding than leaning on them for all things, at all times, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. If you are such a person, do me a favour, will you? Go f**k yourself...

Side notes: My dear bimbo buddy wrote a love letter to the love that she haven't met yet, its awesome as usual, never once fail to impress me. Who's more sincere and sweet now? Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You! Who? Who? You! You! You!