Judgmental

Recently, a friend of mine divulged to me regarding a decision she had made which she thinks that it went against some of her own core values.

Well, I listened and asked her some questions while she was telling me about it.

"Do you think this decision is helping you to get closer to what you want or further away from it?"

To that, she reacted, "Don't judge me! I'm comfortable in my decision and know what I'm doing."

I am not judging you, and even if I was, if you are really comfortable with what you are doing, my judgement won't matter to you. That will be my problem, not yours.

Maybe I was judging her or maybe I wasn't.
But what I thought wasn't really the main issue here, isn't it?
She knew whether she wanted to admit it or not, that she was making a decision that wasn't quite right. Before even telling me, she was already defensive because she was already judging herself...

I know for myself, the times that I actually concerned of people judging is because I knew that I had made a decision that wasn't serving me, but I just didn't have the discipline or courage to be honest about it.

It's easy to point the finger and blame someone as being "judgmental" just to disguise the fact that really, we're just judging ourselves. It's human natural...

If you were truly confident with the decisions that you are making, you won't let such judgement of others to concern you. So the next time you accuse someone of judging you, take a moment and ask yourself "Who's really the one judging you?" If you felt judged, it may be a signal for you to do a gut check with yourself and ask if your decision is out of line with your values and integrity.